Trying to Let Go

What’s all this about, this
trying to let go?

I never want to let go.
I just want to forget

I love the hold, the grasp, the constant
adrenaline of connection–I never want to lose
that tether.

Feeling, on the other, less impassioned hand,
is something I’ve let go of completely.
I learned it from somewhere dark
that feeling causes immense pain

pain that I’d rather not experience
even at the expense of joy–
I suppose, though cliche, it’s safer that way.

And don’t tell me I’m missing out–
I feel more than sensitive fingertips
of a thousand nimble craftsmen–
my heart races and dies a multitude of
tragic deaths daily. With every struggle, with every
passing injury, I lose an irreplaceable drop of blood–
so, I don’t want to feel any more. I want to stop.

I want to stop.

I want to stop.

Really. I’m trying to let you go.


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